I just finished day 2. I actually had two days between my runs this time because I wanted to do the bridge again (and because my shins needed extra time to recover from the Day 1). So far I'm really loving this program. It was hard to make myself wake up early to go, but I'm so glad I did.
If I hadn't gone I would have missed the chance to watch the sun rise over the river from the top of the bridge.
It reminded me of another sunrise I got to see; the first sunrise I had ever seen over the water.
Part of my journey these past 6 months took the kids and me on an epic roadtrip to Arizona. That story is probably several blog posts in and of itself. Today's story happened after I returned to Florida.
I was so incredibly fortunate to have an amazing place to stay while searching for my new home. A good friend of mine allowed the kids and me to stay in her townhouse about a mile from the beach in Cape Canaveral. It wasn't just a place to crash. We called it the transition home and it was beautiful and peaceful and will always be a special place to me.
One morning, I got this crazy notion to jog to the beach. Remember, I'm not a runner so this was a pretty silly plan. I did not enjoy the run. It was a semi-rainy morning and I had bad shoes and was still dealing with a lot of grumpy, bitter, angry feelings. The run wasn't doing anything positive for me. In fact, I almost turned back several times despite it being a relatively short distance. But I urged myself on hoping to finally watch the sun come up on the water.
You would think that someone who's lived so near the Atlantic for over 7 years and had been on several Caribbean cruises would have seen the sun rise over the ocean by now. But for whatever reason, I hadn't.
When I got to the beach, the sky was light and I figured I had missed it. It was still so beautiful! The rain had stopped and the sky was pretty clear and the weather was gorgeous. I was glad I had gone and was relieved that I finally made it.
What I didn't realize was that the sun had not yet truly risen.
I began walking along the beach, meditating, forcing myself to think about happy things and not on the stresses I was dealing with. I was also trying really hard not to focus on the trek back home that I knew I would have to endure.
And then the sun actually came up.
In case you've never had to a chance to see it, there is an actual moment when the sun peaks up over the horizon. It was the most beautiful, surreal sight I had ever seen. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that while the sky was light, I didn't actually see a sphere in the sky yet. But I'm so grateful for that pleasant surprise. I'll never forget the awe I felt. It was glorious to see and I spent several minutes just staring and thanking my Heavenly Father for the moment.
One of the best parts of that morning was that the jog back home was actually pretty pleasant. Yay for tender mercies!
So here's my metaphor for the day...
One thing that the people who are closest to me know is that I love the sun. It's kind of my thing. It has always represented growth and renewal. It's gives me something to look forward to after a dark night.
I grew up watching the sun rise over the mountains and had many opportunities to see it set over the Pacific and had always loved it. But even then, I had no idea how amazing a sunrise could really be. I didn't even know how to anticipate the power of the moment when peaked up over the horizon. Now I do.
I have heard many times that the most important word we have is "remember".
The moments before the sun rose this morning, I stood remembering my first experience watching the sun rise over the water. I didn't know exactly when it would happen, but I was able to look forward to the beauty; anticipating the exact moment when it would peak up over the horizon and begin the day. And it was just as amazing as before.
Isn't that how it happens sometimes? Past experiences can play a huge role in our ability to cope. Until I had experienced the sunrise for the first time, I didn't really know how breath-taking and life changing it could be. But now I know what I have to look forward to.
And until I had experienced true pain and loneliness, I didn't know how incredibly loved and blessed I am by my Heavenly Father. And now, no matter what dark and difficult experiences I might come across, I know without a doubt that the most amazing sunrise is on its way. I can put my faith and trust in my Savior knowing that there is hope and renewal and I will be stronger because of it.
Today, as I was running on the bridge, enjoying the beautiful morning and thinking about this super wise (and cheesy) metaphor I had come up with, a song starts playing on my phone.
How appropriate is this!
She sees the storm clouds gather
The sky is turning cold and gray
She knows that something's coming
When she starts to feel this way
She pleads for intervention but Heaven offers no relief
And she would understand if she could only see
Sometimes He lets it rain
He lets the fierce winds blow
Sometimes it takes a storm to lead a heart where it can grow
He can move mountains of grief and oceans of pain
But sometimes He lets it rain
And when her heart surrenders to the Master in control
Her spirit learns the lessons of the tempest in her soul
When it's no longer raging
She can see how far she's come
Through the wisdom and the mercy of the Son
Sometimes He lets it rain
He lets the fierce winds blow
Sometimes it takes a storm to lead a heart where it can grow
He can move mountains of grief and oceans of pain
But sometimes He lets it rain
There is no joy without the pain
Sometimes he has to let it rain
There is so much comfort in knowing that while going through the rough times, or the "storms", they will not last forever. And while they are necessary for growth, we will never have to go through them alone. We have a loving God and a merciful Savior who will carry us through the worst of it and who's eternal promises are sure.
"My daughter, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."
D&C 121:7-8
I know that even after the darkest of nights, there is the most amazing sunrise to look forward to. I know this because I've seen it and experienced it. And my hope is to always remember this so that I can put my trust in the right sources.
I look forward to the incredible view that will come at the end of these trials. And I look forward to the person that I will have become because I experienced them.
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