Dealing with Rejection

On Monday I will be auditioning for another play.
I LOVE theater. I love being on stage. I love singing. I love developing a character that is not my own and I love living in a different world for a while. I just love the stage.

I HATE auditions.

I've been pretty privileged to have gotten cast in many of the shows that I have auditioned for, but there have been plenty of times that I've either not gotten the part I really was hoping for or was not asked to be a part of the production at all.

Rejection sucks. Every time. And I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Even when I knew very well that there was a legitimate reason why I was not cast, there is still a sadness that comes with not being chosen for a part.

This time around, for this particular show, I'm pretty prepared for rejection. The role that I would really like to play is going to be very difficult to get anyway, and you just never know what the directors are going to be looking for. The odds are pretty tough.

Even though I know that my chances are slim, I know that it will still be sad and it will still hurt and I'll probably be fighting off a little bit of bitterness for a while. One positive thing that I also know is that it wont last forever.

And it's not going to stop me from still putting myself out there to try. At least there is some hope for me in that.

It's the same thing with relationships. Rejection sucks. No matter how nicely it was done or how inevitable it was, you still deal with sadness and hurt and bitterness.

I know that time makes it easier, but what else can help?

From my personal experience, things always seemed to get better after I begin the next relationship. That's when I have always been able to move on and forgive.

Well, that's exactly what I'm trying NOT to do this time around. That's why I'm working so  hard toward self-love and acceptance. I want to be able to know for myself that I'm awesome without having to have a guy in my life telling me so. I want to break the cycle of needing someone there to make me feel good enough.

Don't get me wrong, I want to have someone in my life. And I'm prayerful that my love story will have a happy ending one day. But my whole purpose in this blog and in this process is for me to be happy without - so that I can be truly happy with.

All this thought of my most recent rejections and the possibility of experiencing another form of rejection this next week after this audition has me wanting to find a better way of coping. Chances are I will probably experience more heartache before I'm through. But I really don't want the fear of rejection to keep me from putting myself out there and trying again.

Obviously, today's post is not a super thoughtful and positive narrative of how far I've come. Rather, it's the first of many that proves I am still on the road to recovery.

So - what do I do? How are you suppose to deal with rejection? Is there a magic process? Is there a way of protecting your heart without hiding away and playing it safe?

I think I need to ponder on this one for a while. Suggestions are encouraged :-)