The First Set-Back

I realize that I am behind and have been thinking all week of the many things I want to blog about...but it's been difficult because of different things that have happened. Plus, it's pretty time consuming. Still, it's been so worth the effort.

 My mom is actually the one who reminded me that I was behind on my blog. I appreciate the accountability check-ins. Feel free to keep me on my toes.

I actually did blog early last week, but I took it down. Remember when I mentioned, probably 10 different times, that this is blog is mainly for me? Well, that is still true. But I still am trying really hard to not put anything out into the world that can be viewed in a negative light. It is not my intention to offend. A story that I told was misinterpreted and  I realized that perhaps not all of my posts need to be published. Some things are just better kept to yourself. There may be a time when I'm ready to sharpen up the story and re-publish it again. But in the meantime, I am grateful for the opportunity to write out my thoughts and feelings in some form or other. You can't even know how therapeutic this blog has been for me.

So...last week was an interesting week. I ran into my set-back in my couch to 5k program. I got an injury.

The week started off great! I was able to run for several 3 minute intervals on the treadmill and felt myself getting stronger. Afterwards, however, I could tell that my right knee was not happy. I've always had some problems with my knees; nothing major - I've just dealt with some dislocations in the past and they like to pop as I walk down stairs. So I decided to get a knee brace for stability. Unfortunatly, it didn't help. Two days later on the next run, I could barely limp up the bridge.

I realized I needed a break. It was such a bummer because it was all going so well and I was feeling so great! I have been super careful. I took one to two day breaks between runs. I was eating well and stretching....I think it was my shoes.

So that's what I'm doing; taking a break. Just this week - I'll be back on the program next Monday. I suppose it only set me back a little bit, but it was still a hurdle I didn't expect. A little bit discouraging, I might add. I couldn't help but worry if I'm really up to the challenge...

I find it so amazing, sometimes, how God gives inspiration in the most unexpected places, and how other people's experiences and wisdom can make such a difference in your life, even when that person didn't intend to inspire.

I have a friend with whom I've been blessed to be a part of her physical healing process. Once or twice a week I give her a massage. It's been so amazing to watch her get stronger and have to endure less and less daily pain. She often tells me how grateful she is that I am able to help her, but sometimes I think she's really helping me. She is one of the more inspiring people I've ever met.

This last week she said something to me that has changed my view on life. She didn't say it "for" me, but rather as part of something she was going through herself.

"You need to fall in love with the goal, not the process".

I love the idea of finding joy in the journey. It's something I've always tried to focus on. And what this friend of mine taught me does not take away from being able to find joy wherever life might lead you. What my friend reminded me was that plans never go the way you want them to. If you become inflexible in the "how" part of the goal process, then it's too easy to become discouraged when the hiccups come along and you have to change your course.

The goal is the focus! Fall in love with the goal and only look at the process as a means of reaching it - a process that can be flexible and adjusted as needed.

Ok - so I know that this is a no-brainer idea. Everyone knows that things rarely ever go as planned. You need to be willing to adjust and reevaluate. But there is something different about the idea of falling in love with your goal. It gives it such a positive spin! The goal then becomes worth the challenge. It gives perspective and excitement to the end process even when the plan of how to reach that goal falls apart.

My process seemed so easy. Follow the program. It was going to be so fun and fulfilling. I fell in love with the plan. When I ran head-first into this setback, I became discouraged and frustrated and felt that my 5K goal was destroyed.

But really, what is the bottom line? What is it that I want to fall in love with? I want to fall in love with what running this race is going to do for me. The goal is what is important. I had a set-back, so what! Maybe I wont be ready for a run in January (though I think I can still make it at this point). I'm not going to let the hiccups deter me. The specific steps in the process is not what is important. What's important is that I can make changes where I need to in order to move forward toward what it is that I really want.

The real-life application for this is a simple one. When you fall, get back up.

But at this point in my healing process, I have found myself applying this to the goal of where I want to be at the end of this life.

Wouldn't it be great if we could soar through this life unscathed? If we never made a mistake or veered off the path that was laid out for us? If we never experienced obstacles in our path? If we never had to struggle through any set-backs or hiccups whether of our own making or not? Wouldn't that be so much easier!?

Well, as we know, we need to experience the "bad" so that we can appreciate the "good", so obviously that isn't going to happen.

But it is so easy to become discouraged when things don't go as planned. Thinking about my own circumstance, divorce was never part of my plan! I was so in love with the idea of a picture perfect family. I had a husband and children and a home and a plan. I loved this plan!

Divorce is kind of a big set-back. It changed everything I had ever wanted and worked for and I had no control over it.

So what am I doing now? I'm creating another plan. I'm setting in motion another way of reaching my goal of living a good life, however that life might look, and returning to my Heavenly Father. THAT is the goal I need to fall in love with. I need to be so excited and determined to receive all the blessings that I've been promised when this mortal life is over that  no matter what plans fall apart, I can keep going.

I keep focusing on what it is I wanted for my life and how I can't have it anymore. But I'm beginning to see how it's ok that things are different from what I planned. I have a different reality from what I had hoped for, but it's not going to make the end process any different as long as I don't lose sight of what's important.

My goal is to be able to hear my Father say, "well done, thou good and faithful servant". (Matthew 25:21)

And I want to bring my children along for the ride.

I love that goal. It's a worthy goal and will be worth whatever hiccups and set-backs and adjustments I have to make to reach it.