More than any other time in my life, my testimony of the power of prayer has be strengthened by the constant blessings and answers that I've received. The fact that I survived today's run and feel excited about moving forward is just one of the many obvious examples where the heavens opened and the blessings where hurled in my direction. It may seem like such a simple thing, but I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father knows how important this is to me.
Something else that is important to me, homeschooling.
Today's post is one of those subjects that sparks a lot of debate and controversy, but I'm only here to chronicle my thoughts and feelings on the subject. The idea of homeschooling was, at one time, a no brainer. NO WAY! I don't have the patience or the knowledge. I had all the common misconceived views that you hear about children who are home taught. I was so against it at one point that I'm positive it was only Divine Inspiration that got me considering it in the first place. I have no clue when my thought process began to allow me to consider the idea, but I'm so glad that I did.
I want to do what's best for my kids. I've done lots of research and have reached out to many groups and individuals in my area for information and support. Home schooling is not just a passing fancy to me. And through study and prayer, I came to realize that it's what my children need, at least for now.
One of the first things that people would comment on to me after learning about my impending divorce is concerning what they felt was my inability to homeschool now that I'm going to be a single mom. Comments like that were obviously made with the best of intentions. Home schooling takes a lot of time and effort and resources even in the best of circumstances! How in the world would I make it work when my available time and financial means were greatly decreased? The only answer I have to that question is *faith*.
I feel very strongly that, at least for right now, homeschooling is the best thing for my children. D is not 100% on board but I am so grateful that he trusts me enough not to fight me on it at this time. I'm willing to sacrifice a lot in order to give J and B the opportunity to learn in the environment that will best benefit their learning styles.
Some days are hard. Other days are amazing. One such day was yesterday. Jonah and I spent about an hour doing 2 pages of his reading lesson. This is the result.
It was such a sweet experience to listen as he read the words and told his own stories and drew pictures based on what he was reading. There is no way that he would have been able to be that creative in any other setting. I loved seeing him express his creativity in this way. It was a super special experience.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with public schools. I just know that, for a lot of reasons, it's not where my children need to be right now at this stage in their life. They are thriving and learning so much just from being allowed to explore their world.
Today, we joined out homeschooling group on a field trip for a Nature Hike in the Enchanted Forest Sanctuary. When we got there, J pointed to the visitor center and asked, "is that my school"? I loved being able to tell him, yes! It is his school. Everywhere we go he has the opportunity to learn and observe and discover and explore. I can't describe how grateful I am that despite everything, I can still make it work for him to experience the joy of homeschool.
I could not make this work without the favor and blessings of my Heavenly Father.
As my thoughts have been focused on blessings these last few days, I think I would like to do a little blessing count. Here are just a few of the things that I have been incredibly blessed with since the separation of my family began that have allowed me to continue to be the mom I want to be:
The support of my family - which has never faltered
The love of friends - who have practically taken care of me like my family
Specific people who opened their homes during my transition from my family's home to my current one
My amazing friend who watches the kids when I need to work so that I can have the flexibility to do massages on demand and still keep the kids home with me
My job -- so many things about my chosen field of massage therapy has made my new life easier
My house which was purchased by my brother for me in order to make life affordable
My brother who bought my house and will probably never realize how much he has blessed me
I could actually list specific things about each of my brothers and sisters that have blessed me, but I'll never finish this blog post
My ward family who have stepped up to the plate to help me with whatever I need
The YMCA -- I'm pretty sure the only thing that has kept me physically able to move during the darkest days has been exercise
The scholarship the YMCA granted me so that I could keep going there
The special friend who brought us a Christmas tree
Our homeschooling group who give my children so many opportunities to learn and socialize
The friends I have made these last few months who have been my biggest cheerleaders and encouragers
My renewed love of the gosple
These are just a few of the more obvious blessings. I love seeing how so many of my blessings come in the form of people who have been put in my life in order for me to receive these blessings. I feel like every day I notice sweet little things that my Heavenly Father gives me or shows me that reminds me of how much He loves me and how He's not going to allow me to be left alone or fail at the things that I find most important.
I'm just feeling so grateful today. For my children. For my family and friends. For the ability to stay as positive as possible despite the difficult circumstances and lack of control I have over them.
A friend of mine told me recently that she felt inspired to tell me to be ready, because I'm going to soar! I have no clue what that means, but it resonated with me. I feel so love and supported by so many. I have been so blessed. How could I not come out of this whole thing strengthened?
I think the greatest blessing I have received out of all of this is that I was not allowed to give in. I could have let this whole situation break me. I could have given up on my desire to homeschool and be home with my kids. I could have locked myself away from friends and wallow in the sorrow that accompanies destroyed dreams. I could have been crushed by all of this. But I was, and still am, determined not to be. That kind of motivation could have only been given to me by Heavenly Father; no doubt. He has never given up on me. He's going to get me through these challenges whether its the huge one like a life changing divorce or a smaller one like running a 5k.
For all of you that still check out this blog and have been following me in this journey and cheering me on, thank you for being one of my blessings <3
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